I never thought about how true that is, until I got married.
Leaving home was probably the hardest thing for me, especially because things weren’t in the best of states.
M was in the middle of her divorce. Things between her, mum and dad weren’t going too great. B wasn’t really doing much to support mum and dad, doing the things a son should, but was bysy worshipping the ground S (his wife) walks on.
Mum and dad were stressed out due to M’s situation. And in between all of that, I got married. SubhanAllah.
In a way I’m glad that’s the way things happened. Partly due to selfish reasons – I don’t think I could deal with all that stress and tension at home. But also because I think M needs to realise how much mum and dad do for her, rather than think they’re her worst enemies, and B needs to step up to his responsibility as a son and stop putting his wife first all the time. But at the same time I was reluctant to leave because I couldn’t bear the thought of them all in that state.
It breaks my heart now, to see that B isn’t doing half the things he should. He really isn’t stepping up to the mark. Especially after everything mum and dad have done for him. And S doesn’t appreciate how easy she has it. She doesn’t even help out in the housework half the time. That pees me off. If you’re going to live with the inlaws, and make it out like you’re some super duper practicing Muslimah – then step up and take some kind of responsibility! Our mums lived alone and bought us up as well as running a household, but all she does is sit in her room most of the time. Although I think she has been stepping up more recently. After mum told them to leave the house.
Dad isn’t keeping too well either. His foot isn’t getting any better. Yet he’s still being stubborn about it. I understand he doesn’t want to become dependant on anything or anyone (stair lift/mobility scooter) but he’s in so much pain, he can’t even think straight half the time.
When I hear about all the things happening at home, it breaks my heart. Mum and dad aren’t getting any younger. And the attitude from M and B doesn’t help in any way. Instead of helping them, they are just making things more difficult for mum and dad. And that annoys me. I’ve been home (at mum’s) for nearly 2weeks now, M orders me around and doesn’t pull her weight at mum’s. B is hardly around. And when he is, he’s not doing much to help the situation. He has an attitude problem, that’s for sure. Doesn’t know how to speak to any of us properly and then makes it out like he’s the victim. WTH.
I miss the mister now. I didn’t think I ever would. When we first got married, I was happy to be at mums. He didn’t care much and we hardly spoke whilst I was here. It felt like we were just two strangers who lived in the same house and shared the same bed, nothing more. Now I miss him like crazy. I miss the hugs, the affection, the silly jokes, and funnily enough he actually admitted to missing me too… Something I thought wouldn’t happen in a million years! Alhamdulillah wa shukr.
I actually look forward to going back home InshaAllah. I know I’m going to end up complaining about how lonely I get etc, but it’s nice having my own space. Here at mums I feel suffocated at times. Feel like I’m a kid under mum’s rules again. It’s frustrating that I can’t have a life outside of here when I come. I’ve been out 3 times in 2 weeks and I’m on lockdown. I’m 31 years old and being treated like a 15 year old. I do what I can to pull my weight here, but still isn’t enough so I’m expected to just sit in front of the TV watching rubbish Indian dramas….
Argh. I’ve gone off tangent. So I’ll end here for now.